princess

This was written before my car was eaten by a tornado. Now I won’t be able to meet girls this way, but they probably use MSN or YIM anyway. Also, my musical tastes are dependent on internet whispers and friends, but for the sake of half-hearted humor, I’m going to be cool in this one.

pop

You know that feeling you get when your back needs to be popped, but no amount of thrashing about will do? This is an almost constant feeling for me. I’ve invented several freaky dances just trying to pop my back, but none have worked. I need to find a butt-shaped slab of weight.

drown

pbs

There, I think I’ve made up for the emo. It’s partially a parody of the “fucking peppers” meme, but it’s seriously a good sandwich if you like peanut butter. I call it the Peanut-Brandon Sandwich, or PBS for short. Enjoy it.

Bitch.

pillows

I gagged when I wrote it, and puked when I scanned it. I’ll make up for it, I promise.

textbox

This symbol of childhood humiliation will forever haunt me.